This is why you should 'Save' before you 'Submit'

Sometime over the summer, I saw a tweet about casting for a food show in Savannah. I filled out the application which, if I’m remembering correctly, asked questions like “Why do you love the South?” and “Why do you love food?” and “Do you cook?”  I submitted the form and promptly forgot about it.

Last week, I got an email saying I got a Call Back, and that my presence is requested in Savannah for an In Real Life interview.

Savannah. Paula Deen lives here. Jude Law played a big old redneck here.

My first thought was, “WHEEEEEE! I’MON BE ON TEEVEEEEEE!” My second thought was, “Eff Bomb. I’ve got to drop thirty pounds in ten days. Can I do that?” Answer: No. I can, however, gain a few and start breaking out like a fourteen year old, because hormones? Yes, they are complete jerks. Commence the slathering of Tazorac on offending chin zits.

No one wants to watch a skinny chick talk about food, anyway, right? Just like no one believed Monica was a chef on "Friends".

“Eff Bomb Two. What exactly did I say to these people that makes them think I deserve a Call Back?” follows shortly thereafter. Because of course I didn’t save anything I wrote on the application. I just pushed ‘Submit’ and went back to scheming trips. 

Today I’m getting my hair cut and was planning to get my Goonie Goo Goo face waxed for my “WHEEEEEE! I’MON BE ON TEEVEEEEEE!” interview, but remember those zits and the Tazorac? Turns out waxing will peel your face off if you use the stuff within a week of waxing. So, I’ll be tweezing for the next few days. Please don’t interrupt. 

Gus, Gus. Can I ask you a question?

P.S. Special thanks to my friends Heather and Holly for their insight on food and television. It was invaluable.