The Hunger Games

Recently, the cast of "The Hunger Games" has been spotted at some quality Charlotte and Asheville businesses.

Even the stars know Cabo Fish Taco and The Southern Kitchen and Bar are among the best in the area. I'm betting Woody Harrelson fits right in in NoDa and Asheville.

Keep your clothes on. I got all I can take.

This right here is giving me a bad case of the sads.

It's my free Priority Access ticket I somehow won from Samsung Summer Krush Concert Series. Which I can not attend. No amount of finagling in the week or so that I was given to do the finagling was going to make it happen. 

I can't give them to other people to use. The tickets came with strict instructions they can only be used by a guest and myself. Though if I did share, I'd probably explode with jealousy right around 8 pm tonight. Smoldering pieces of me would be splattered on the walls and the rug. 

Probably best that I can't gift them. No one cleans around here butcept me. 

I've been defeated by time, space and babysitters with other plans. I'm not, unfortunately, a breathing  time machine.

This is why you should 'Save' before you 'Submit'

Sometime over the summer, I saw a tweet about casting for a food show in Savannah. I filled out the application which, if I’m remembering correctly, asked questions like “Why do you love the South?” and “Why do you love food?” and “Do you cook?”  I submitted the form and promptly forgot about it.

Last week, I got an email saying I got a Call Back, and that my presence is requested in Savannah for an In Real Life interview.

Savannah. Paula Deen lives here. Jude Law played a big old redneck here.

My first thought was, “WHEEEEEE! I’MON BE ON TEEVEEEEEE!” My second thought was, “Eff Bomb. I’ve got to drop thirty pounds in ten days. Can I do that?” Answer: No. I can, however, gain a few and start breaking out like a fourteen year old, because hormones? Yes, they are complete jerks. Commence the slathering of Tazorac on offending chin zits.

No one wants to watch a skinny chick talk about food, anyway, right? Just like no one believed Monica was a chef on "Friends".

“Eff Bomb Two. What exactly did I say to these people that makes them think I deserve a Call Back?” follows shortly thereafter. Because of course I didn’t save anything I wrote on the application. I just pushed ‘Submit’ and went back to scheming trips. 

Today I’m getting my hair cut and was planning to get my Goonie Goo Goo face waxed for my “WHEEEEEE! I’MON BE ON TEEVEEEEEE!” interview, but remember those zits and the Tazorac? Turns out waxing will peel your face off if you use the stuff within a week of waxing. So, I’ll be tweezing for the next few days. Please don’t interrupt. 

Gus, Gus. Can I ask you a question?

P.S. Special thanks to my friends Heather and Holly for their insight on food and television. It was invaluable.