The Hunger Games

Recently, the cast of "The Hunger Games" has been spotted at some quality Charlotte and Asheville businesses.

Even the stars know Cabo Fish Taco and The Southern Kitchen and Bar are among the best in the area. I'm betting Woody Harrelson fits right in in NoDa and Asheville.

Keep your clothes on. I got all I can take.

This right here is giving me a bad case of the sads.

It's my free Priority Access ticket I somehow won from Samsung Summer Krush Concert Series. Which I can not attend. No amount of finagling in the week or so that I was given to do the finagling was going to make it happen. 

I can't give them to other people to use. The tickets came with strict instructions they can only be used by a guest and myself. Though if I did share, I'd probably explode with jealousy right around 8 pm tonight. Smoldering pieces of me would be splattered on the walls and the rug. 

Probably best that I can't gift them. No one cleans around here butcept me. 

I've been defeated by time, space and babysitters with other plans. I'm not, unfortunately, a breathing  time machine.

This is why you should 'Save' before you 'Submit'

Sometime over the summer, I saw a tweet about casting for a food show in Savannah. I filled out the application which, if I’m remembering correctly, asked questions like “Why do you love the South?” and “Why do you love food?” and “Do you cook?”  I submitted the form and promptly forgot about it.

Last week, I got an email saying I got a Call Back, and that my presence is requested in Savannah for an In Real Life interview.

Savannah. Paula Deen lives here. Jude Law played a big old redneck here.

My first thought was, “WHEEEEEE! I’MON BE ON TEEVEEEEEE!” My second thought was, “Eff Bomb. I’ve got to drop thirty pounds in ten days. Can I do that?” Answer: No. I can, however, gain a few and start breaking out like a fourteen year old, because hormones? Yes, they are complete jerks. Commence the slathering of Tazorac on offending chin zits.

No one wants to watch a skinny chick talk about food, anyway, right? Just like no one believed Monica was a chef on "Friends".

“Eff Bomb Two. What exactly did I say to these people that makes them think I deserve a Call Back?” follows shortly thereafter. Because of course I didn’t save anything I wrote on the application. I just pushed ‘Submit’ and went back to scheming trips. 

Today I’m getting my hair cut and was planning to get my Goonie Goo Goo face waxed for my “WHEEEEEE! I’MON BE ON TEEVEEEEEE!” interview, but remember those zits and the Tazorac? Turns out waxing will peel your face off if you use the stuff within a week of waxing. So, I’ll be tweezing for the next few days. Please don’t interrupt. 

Gus, Gus. Can I ask you a question?

P.S. Special thanks to my friends Heather and Holly for their insight on food and television. It was invaluable. 

Foiling the foiler, and other stories of The ATL

Last weekend, John and I headed down to the ATL for a surprise 40th birthday party for our friend, Man. I so love surprising people. Especially when they are way hard to surprise like Man is. He looked a little scared when eight of his friends walked in to the bar singing "Happy Birthday", and Shelley B. was elated, because she foiled the foiler.

Mission accomplished.

Following said surprise, we drank at Whiskey Blue. Then we took a three block cab ride to MF Buckhead. It was MF good. We walked home to the W Buckhead instead of taking a cab. Because we are MF smart like that.

Whiskey Blue induced permagrin.

After lunch at The Vortex in Little Five Points the next day, we regrouped and hopped onto MARTA to head down to the Braves game. I was impressed, because the Buckhead station didn't smell like pee at all. I was disappointed not to see any rats, though. There were only empty Red Bull cans and Aquafina bottles down in the tracks. I prefer my public transit with a little less upwardly mobile and little more  live vermin. It makes the whole experience seem a little more authentic.

Entrance to The Vortex. Be careful. They bite.

Next blog post: How I got to be best friends with Fred Schneider. For realsies.

In which Pixar and Williams-Sonoma are on my bad list

I'm also always looking for ways to try and get FOO to try new foods. Since his sophisticated palate has only had eyes for pretzels for the past month, I felt that pancakes would be an improvement. I spied with my little eye some "Cars 2" pancake molds at Williams-Sonoma last week, and well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I even bought some overpriced and not too tasty Chocolate Chip pancake mix to put in them, because I'm a sucker like that. 

Siren song packaging. It made me believe I could get my kid to eat. Sucker.

First up, Lightning McQueen. I may or may not have put way more batter in than the directions said.

Ka-Chow!

Lightning McQueen post-pancake apocalypse. This is why he didn't have much screen time in "Cars 2".

Finn McMissle. You'd think being a spy, he would be stealthy enough to tell me that I also put his mold in in upside-down. But, no. His fate was similar to Mr. McQueen's. That's what he gets for being all uppity with that accent and silly moustache. 

Mater. Good old Mater. You won't fail me, will you?

Got the mold right side up. Did I ever tell you I have a Master's degree?

Don't pretend it doesn't look like Mater. It totally does. I have mad pancake making skillz. 

FOO, of course, refused to eat them, but I couldn't blame him much. The batter wasn't good. I guess I should have just shelled out the money for more plastic cars. Oh, and in case you are wondering, that PAM I used to grease the molds and the pan was organic. Did I mention I'm a sucker?

Cute and nice interior decorating

"Mommy. can I go color on my playroom?"

"Yes."

A few minutes go by.

"Mommy, come look at my playroom!"

"OH! Is that what you meant when you said color 'on' your playroom?"

"Yes. I like it. It looks cute and nice."

Clearly, I need to work on my understanding of prepositions, because FOO obviously mastered them when I wasn't looking.

NATURE BOY!